Maha Satu

You know; it has been awhile since I last wrote a poem. The last time was months back ago I suppose? But today, I wrote one; It is lack of skill and emotion. It's too bold and blunt. Cheers!

MAHA SATU - Zarul Iqram

Terjagaku daripada lamunan fenomena mimpi;

Badanku roboh dan jiwaku ranap tersedar; Aku menyebut "Alhamdulillah."

Nipis pahalaku, tebal dosaku;

Getir di dalam dada yang sebak; Aku tutur "Astaghfirullahalazim."

Sedar bertapa kecil diriku, bertapa kecil dunia;

Aku tunduk tanda bertapa besarnya Dia; Dan aku ujar "Allahu akbar."

Permulaanku bermula dari-Nya, penamatku ditamatkan oleh-Nya;

Hanya Dia yang mengukir jalan-jalan ku; Aku percaya "Lailahaillallah."

Hari ini hari aku sedar, hari aku terjaga; hari aku mengerti;

Bahawa patuh ku, taat ku, cinta ku, pasrah ku, setia ku, fanatik ku, hanya untuk-Mu, Ya-Allah.

Bisik perlahan bibir ku ke hati ku; Aku mengucap "Ashadu an la ilaha illa'llah wa Allah Ashad anna Muhammadan Rasululu'llah."

Burden

Hi people,

This week, I thought I had leave a burden off of my shoulder - But I don't feel light nor easy; I feel even more toilsome and hefty. Maybe the burden better be right back on my shoulder, I'd appreciate that even more. Well don't matter that, people say, time heals everything - but I don't want time to heal that, I want someone to heal me. It's not debt, it is something else, I call it life. Bitch, emotional is suck - I am so gay to feel this way - I don't deserve to feel all these. Man shalln't worry - But well, I once a happy person; I didn't even care all these small silly matters. But, hell you know, sometimes small things are important; small things matter most - Like, hmm, I don't know, but it does - sometimes, I'm sure of it. HA! This one, like.... recycling! The aluminium, paper and plastic; It helps the world - One example is enough. Ugh, I hate writing in a bad mood - No, not bad mood, sorry, It's a mood that I don't want to feel. I don't know is that a bad mood or good mood, but I don't want this mood. Man, I'm talking nonsensely-personal!

Ah, did I get a lil bit too personal that annoys you? Sorry. Just feel like to jot-it-down to burst it out. Have a nice day, God bless us all. You, me and the people we love, cheers!

I Speak to God

So, if you read my other posts, you know that I have gone through ups and downs - I haven't found the peace yet, but still trying. I'm not a good Muslim, I admit. However, my faith is strong, I know every religion is right - to brighten us up, only the shallows would disagree. But, with every religion that I've known - It seems like everywhere I go, Muhammad's revelations are incontestable. I mean, it is more logical and acceptable. Well not that others ain't logical, but I think they are a lil' bit incomplete - They are sketchy and unelaborated.

So anyway, it's not that I want to start a war or hurt anyone's feeling, the Jews, Christians, Buddhists, Hindus, Muslim myself - we are all peace minded, aren't we?

So if you are hurt, I am really sorry for being such a pain in the ass.

And back to the story,
In search of god, I grabbed a book written by J. Rumi, a Persian man. His picture is on your right. I must say, I'm quite a fan of Jalaluddin Rumi's writing; I think you guys should really consider reading his writing that has aged for 800 years - For a start, simply entitled "Allah". Real sorry if the writing disappoints you, have a nice day or goodnight!

I Can't Go That Far

This is a story which happened a few months back,
I took a train, I stopped at a station call by a name. I felt home - I stick around for some quite time. All I can say is - I had fun, I was happier, I like this place - No, I love this place.

But sometimes thunders hit, sometimes it rains and sometimes it's cold winter - Matter what, I stood by this place as long as I could, even when it rains or whatsoever; But sadly, I got my limit - When I had enough, I regrettably would just take a train and drop myself at other places - just to make myself feel a lil' bit safer, but not too far, just a safe distance, but I was wrong.

Well to tell you the truth, other places ain't as beauty as this place, ain't as decorated as this place - Being away from this place only reminds me how much I need this place, so I took a train and headed back to this place; I wish I could stay here as long as.

So that's the story of how I love.

Who's winning anyway?

So hello guys, how have you been doing? I hope everything is getting better - I pray for you. Well, I'm doing not so very well. Always uncertain - the matters of study, life and ... well majorly it is about my life. I just got back from Jengka for no reason; Like why did I even drive back home? I even questioned myself - I don't have the answer. I'm so confused now, life is confusing - That smiles, are they fake or real - That talks, are they fictitious or facto - That loves, well love is love it has never been certain, even that so called darling couple Romeo and Juliet suck in love life.

Back to the story,
So, why am I back here in Klang again? I don't know. I don't feel so good - I feel betrayed. I feel betrayed by life, wonder why? Well maybe it is because I have betrayed God for so many times, simple as that. So, I wish one day I would settle down and learn to love the fact that life is fucking uncertain. Many directions are attacking; I have to dodge and some hit me right on the face. Well when it hit me, surely I feel pain - And when I dodge, surely I would feel relief. But where's the win?

I'm not pointing my finger at anyone - I know it is always our own faults. Man, life is life and this is life and I have to live the life and search for a better life. Or I just sway. Well did you guys get what I mean? Well come on! Don't you feel me? Don't you get it? Hm, if no is your answer - Well, actually I'm sad, I am very very very sad - that's it, just. I need some enthusiastic, especially from..